Magic and Roxygen
by TheTwoMind
Summary: Magic, and Roxygen, do i need a summary? I do? Oh, uh... Magic. This is literally because i love a ship, and magic, which works well... There's a plot somewhere... I think.
1. I wrote this without breaks, i'm tired

**AN: So… I've made a decision, two stories with different timelines, one caused by the other, purely for a ship I like. Awwww yis…**

Harry Potter, Boy-Who-Lived, sat on the train with two girls, chatting away while the girls exchanged smiles at his antics.

"-and then I figured, well why not just get the whole costume right? and then I decided to get your costumes made as well so we can make an impression!" He said, without taking any breaks or breathing very much.

"John, remember to breath, Harry Potter isn't meant to be so hyper." One girl said amused.

"oh you'd know wouldn't you rose! how many fanfics did you write for harry potter again?" Harry, or apparently John, asked sarcastically.

"It was in the hundreds, I had nothing to do on the meteor." The girl called Rose, replied seriously.

"wow, you have to have gone thru lots a inks." The other girl said, before frowning. "i'm very teared." She said, and then frowned again. "tired." She clarified with a yawn.

"did you get any sleep rox?" John asked worried.

"No she didn't, she was up all night looking at something on her phone, and giggling a lot." Rose said for 'rox', who gave an mock shocked expression.

"that might have been me, we were talking last night, but only up until eleven." John said.

"he was… uh… idk… being a dork! a hot dork." 'rox' decided.

"Roxy, take a nap for a bit, we'll wake you up when we get near." Rose told her, finally revealing her name.

"yu jus' wan' my bf, don't yu?" Roxy accused through her yawns.

"I do not want John, well…" Rose gave a small smirk playfully.

"hey! can you not talk about me like not here?" John begged.

"fine…" Roxy muttered before curling up and heading to sleep.

"John, we need to talk…" Rose told him seriously.

"yeah rose?"

"If you hurt her in anyway… I will make you regret it." Rose promised.

"i won't hurt her rose, if i do, you'll have to get in line behind me once i find a time to keep taking me back in time to beat myself up." John said seriously.

"Good. I just wanted to make that clear, and ah, maybe text her a little less the night before we head to a boarding school?" She joked a playfully.

"hey! she texted me first! besides… you're the one that said we'd be a cute couple!" John pointed out.

"That is true…" Rose agreed, before pulling out a book.

"yoink!" John said, snatching it.

"John give me my book back!" She shouted annoyed.

"make me!"

"John seriously give it back!" Rose demanded, getting worried.

"why? it's just a book, i won't tear it." John promised as he opened it, using one hand to keep Rose from reaching it. "… oh… oh my…"

Roses face turned bright red.

"i… i'm flattered that you'd include me like that, really. but… i don't really think roxy would be happy getting left out." He said seriously, making Rose sweat drop. "also, you're totally writing a copy for me." He told her.

"Just give it back!" Rose told him. "That's my diary!"

"oh, that makes more sense." John muttered, passing it back to her.

"Thank you…"

"… so… want me to get the costumes yet for later or not?" He asked seriously.

"Get them out now, I miss my old clothes." Rose said, glad for the distraction.

"kay! just give me a second. included under… oh, i was going commando under those jeans wasn't i…" He realised.

"… I was as well, I feel like mine was worse."

"yeah, i had jeans and you got a dress." John agreed. "there we go, hey there's a note!" He told rose as he dug through his suitcase.

"Really?"

"yeah! says that she added something…" John muttered, before pulling something out. "sweeeeet! dave's turntables! i could use those if i hurt rox, or stop myself from doing it, along with my retconness!" He said, before reading a note. "wait, no, these are for if we find dave…" He corrected. "but, she did include this!" He told rose, pulling out a very familiar four eyed cat.

"Vodka mutini?!" Rose said shocked.

"no, dr meowgon spengler." John corrected.

"This is that Casey, Viceroy Bubbles Von Salamander debate all over again…" Rose muttered annoyed.

"heh heh! that was just silly, besides, we agreed that she's casey, remember?" John pointed out.

"Indeed, so this should be Vodka Mutini." Rose added.

"… ok i guess… vodka mutini it is!" He said, passing the mutant cat to Rose.

"How did you get here Vodka?" Rose asked curiously.

"kanaya said she found him, her, what genders the cat?"

"Girl."

"her, at the house while i was out with rox, you were apparently at the bar again getting drunk."

"I agreed to try it for a few weeks, that was just the last time I had to try it." Rose argued.

"i know!" John agreed, having used Rose's distraction to change into a blue outfit with a large windsock as a hood, right in front of her, even changing into the provided underwear.

"D-Did you just…?" Rose stammered.

"yep!"

Rose was silent, before putting Mutini on the seat and grabbing a familiar costume.

"Turn around."

"uh… why?"

"I'm not comfortable stripping in front of you."

"why not?" John asked confused.

"Because you're dating Roxy, not me."

"oh, alright!" John accepted the stupid answer, twisting around, and then turning around the grab the kitten, twisting back to where he was again to look away.

"John! Stop peeking!" Rose scolded, blushing furiously.

"sorry!"

"Ugh…" Rose groaned as she got into the clothes. "I must admit, this brings back memories… Ones I had practically forgotten…" She commented, "You can turn around now." She told John.

"no i can't." John said quickly.

"Why not?" She asked frustrated.

"'cause rox is grabbing my hand and i don't want to let go." He told her, when she turned around she found that Roxy, in her sleep, had instinctively grabbed John's hand when he got close.

"So sit next to her." Rose suggested.

"oh yeah! heh…"

Rose sighed, getting up so John could take her place, and giving him a quick and sudden kiss on the cheek, making him blush.

"rose?! what was that?!" He shouted.

"John, you know I have feelings for you, I just decided to act on them for a moment, I am otherwise content with you and my mother being together." She explained as she sat down where he had been previously.

"don't put it like that… it makes it sound like she's twenty or something!" John complained.

"At least you're not Dave dating her."

"yeah… but still, how would you like it if I accused you o- oh no wait, nevermind." He quickly backtracked.

"Uh… Ok?"

 **Hours later**

Roxy woke up with a catlike mewl as she pressed herself against John's side.

"hey roxy." John said as she looked upwards at him.

"hey johnny…" Roxy said snuggling into his chest.

"Would you like your costume with, or without mask?" Rose asked as she held the domino mask to Roxy's costume up in one hand, the costume in the other.

"wif… with." She decided as she stretched, getting passed the costume, john and rose both looking away to give her time to change.

"Let's head out, we're about to arrive." Rose pointed out.

"alright, let's goo… go." Roxy corrected herself.

"You've had your nap, talk properly." Rose told her.

"heh… sorry, just habit…" She explained with a shrug.

"I have many problems with you and John dating, most of them minor, but a major one is that you call yourself Breathalyzer." Rose stated.

"or roxygen!" John added.

"What."

"heh, get it? roxygen? 'cause like… he's breathe? and im roxy?" Roxy pointed out with a grin.

"Yes, I get it. I was just not expecting how incredibly cheesy it was." Rose explained as they left the train.

"well, at least we live together at home right?" John pointed out.

"I'm still questioning how that happened, for you it seems to be rebirth, but for us, well it's odd…" Rose trailed off.

"probably 'cause you recognised me, rox recognised me, i pranked you both, you're parents found out i was being abused, i lived with you." John said.

"I know that, I'm just saying the chances were very small." Rose corrected.

Roxy giggled, wrapping herself around John's arm and pulling him along. "who care's about all that stuff? not me that's for sure!" She said happily, kissing him on the same cheek that Rose had done the same to. "wait a second…" she muttered, smelling and slightly tasting Rose's lipstick. "rosey…" She said slowly, turning towards her sister/mother/daughter.

Rose stayed silent, moving forwards.

"did you kiss johnny?" She asked curiously.

"I'm not answering that question."

"so you diiid!? why didn't you tell me? we could have had like, a threesome date or something!" Roxy said happily.

"Because that's incest, or something like that, besides I'm happy with Kanaya." Rose pointed out.

"uuuuunnnnnngh… thaaat's borring!" She complained.

"so is dave trying to be ironic while drowning in puppet rump." John joked.

"Ah yes, that… I remember it well." Rose said with a smile.

 **Bit later**

After Rose had a freak out over the rickety boats, and they had gotten inside, they waited for the ghosts they knew would float through the walls, Rose having made John read the books and Roxy having had nothing but the books to read.

Once that happened, they entered the hall, ignoring the staring at their outfits and looking around.

"maybe i judged a bit harshly… this is awesome." John whispered to rose.

"Potter, Harry!"

John looked at Rose and shrugged.

"Has anyone seen potter?"

"You know, people are going to figure it out, you're the only male left." Rose pointed out.

"yeah, i'm just waiting for that."

"Does anyone know of Potter's location?!" The old lady, McGonagall, called out worried.

"might as well get it over with…" John muttered, walking forwards. "the reason i ignored it is cause my name's legally john egbert, which just sounds much better." He explained, putting the hat on his head.

" _ **Hmm… Let's see… Not Ravenclaw… You're not smart enough, and you know that…**_ " A voice, the hat likely, said inside John's head.

" _yeah, but i feel like i'm either a puff or a lion, both of them involve loyalty to those you care about._ " He pointed out.

" _ **True… True… Well then…**_ GRYFFINDOR!" It shouted, getting cheers.

"go johnny!" Roxy shouted over the cheers, barely heard.

"Lalonde, Rose!"

Rose went under the hat.

" _ **I'm tempted to say Slytherin…**_ "

" _Do that and I burn you to a crisp._ " Rose threatened.

" _ **I won't, Ravenclaw maybe… But would you be happy.**_ "

" _Likely no, I would enjoy it but I wouldn't be complete there, I need to be with those I care about really._ " She admitted.

" _ **Very well…**_ GRYFFINDOR!"

"Lalonde, Roxy!"

Roxy put the hat on.

" _ **Hmm… Not Ravenclaw… Or slytherin… Hufflepuff? No… You'd be out in a day with how you act…**_ GRYFFINDOR!"

Roxy joined her Sister/Mother/Daughter and her boyfriend at the table, all of them sitting together.

"So Potter, what's with the name?" A boy asked confused.

"John he's talking to you." Rose said.

"huh? oh! i was adopted by my dad when i was four, i was being abused by my aunt and uncle. thanks to rose and rox i ended up getting adopted by my dad, who ended up living with their mom in a platonic relationship, it's got to be platonic since i'm sorta…" He trailed off embarrassed, getting kissed on the cheek by Roxy.

"you're datin' the cutest girl to ever cute! riiiight johnny windsock?" Roxy teased.

"since roxy's my girlfriend." He agreed, both upsetting the fangirls and making them coo at the cuteness.

"Now then John, I believe it would be wise for us to prepare ourselves for lessons." Rose said instantly, ruining the mood.

"you realise i'm sleeping in a… huh, that's not good…" John realised.

"Yes, it's quite a problem." Rose agreed.

"i can just sleep on a couch." Roxy pointed out.

"i don't have a problem with that, couches are comfy." John accepted.

"I can always do some knitting and keep an eye on you." Rose added. "I promised your father that I would." She explained.

"What are you lot talking about?" The boy asked confused.

"Roxy has trouble sleeping without John, and even then it's quite difficult, she usually spends nights wide awake, only to fall asleep on John the next day." Rose explained.

"not my fault." Roxy added.

"I didn't say anything." Rose argued.

"let's go!" John said dragging them off as soon as the foods vanished.

 **Be John, kiss the girl**

You're John, always have been, you would kiss Roxy, but she just needs to get some sleep, and brush her teeth, she was eating peanut flavoured pocky on the train and you're allergic, not deathly anymore, but it doesn't help…

 **Be past Roxy, don't eat pocky.**

You're now past Roxy, and you're currently finishing off your pocky, you'll have to brush heavily later to make out with John but for now you just want to eat something.

 **Be Rose, write fanfiction.**

You are now rose, unfortunately you have no equipment to write with.

 **Back to normal.**

John sat with Roxy in a comfy chair, Roxy in his lap and head on his shoulder. "night roxy."

"night john…"

"night rose…"

"Goodnight John." Rose said as she started to knit something, John's eyes grew heavier by the second… But he could swear it looked familiar…

 **AN: Jeez this is long, I wrote this entire thing in one go, I had a plan, plan left me for a different one, but the different plans ex decided to take pity on me and become the plot for this story instead.**


	2. Day 2 I'm still pretty tired

**AN: I have no idea what I'm doing.**

John yawned as he woke up, Roxy pressed against his chest.

"Good morning John." Rose greeted as she put away her knitting supplies.

"were you knitting all night?" He asked worried.

"Don't be silly, I just fell asleep while I was knitting, although I have had some new ideas for things to knit…" She said casually.

Roxy pressed against John's chest harder.

"uh… rose? mind giving me a hand here?" John begged.

"Sorry John, last time I did that you got cuts on your shoulders, and you asked me not to do it again." Rose pointed out.

"but i can't get up!"

"And? Just carry her while you walk." Rose suggested.

"seriously rose? are you trying to get me in trouble with dave?!" John whisper shouted, as not to wake up Roxy.

"Dave might not even be here, besides, I don't see a problem." Rose said.

"roxy is dave's pre-scratch mom! he'll be so angry at me!" He explained panicking.

"And? He can't get upset." Rose pointed out. "He's the one that was so obsessed with irony he didn't realise he was being abused."

"yeah i guess, but that's not really his fault 'cause he didn't realise anything was wrong." John pointed out.

"That is true, but I do believe that he probably freaked out yesterday. I heard a meeping that sounded just like Dave." Rose explained.

"oh great… he's gonna be even more angry now!"

"who's gonn' be mre 'ngry now?" Roxy asked as she woke up, snuggling into John.

"morning rox! dave is by the way." John said giving her a smile.

"John believes that Dave will become angered by your relationship and will attack him." Rose elaborated.

"oh, tha's dumb! why does davey get to pick out relationships?! johnny's mah bf! not davey's!"

"It's more that you're Dave's ectobiological mother, so he likely would be enraged by him 'interfering' with family issues." Rose explained.

"i don't know… dave seemed to ship me with you rose." John pointed out.

"The plot thickens."

"actually i just don't want the guy doing my mom, at least not until i've gotten used to it." A ridiculously badass, awesome and overall cool voice said from the stairway for the boys, which John had ignored to sleep with Roxy in his lap. "but once i'm used to it i'll be totally cool with it." The voice assured as a boy walked down, with blonde hair and sunglasses that covered his eyes.

"Dave? What are you doing in the house for heroes?" Rose asked.

"Hat said some kinda dumb bull 'bout being too suicidal for any other houses which is just useless since i ain't dirk, seriously the guys got like a fetish or something for it." He explained, walking over.

"it's not a fetish, it's more… idfk… he has an urge, like me to drink." Roxy said from her place on John's chest.

"he has an urge to lose his head? jeez, good thing he's got jake or whatever the crap his name is, i don't care." Dave said with a shrug.

"Said the boy with the boyfriend about the boy with a boyfriend." Rose remarked.

John grinned as Roxy got off of him.

 **Hours later**

John walked through the halls with Roxy and Rose, Dave having left to go find someone for some reason.

"So, what do you two think about this one?" Rose asked, holding up a picture.

"nah, too sappy." john decided. "it'd be like picking one from pre-retcon, just sad…" He added.

"Well then, how about this?"

"totes! it's sooooooo cute!" Roxy squealed.

"yeah! it's perfect!" John agreed.

"Glad we agree on that." Rose said with a smile, observing the group photo that the group had taken after entering the new universe.

"YOu…" A voice said, both angry and nervous.

"oh no… i aint dealin wi this at this time!" Roxy complained, pushing John and Rose along quickly.

"WAIT!" The voice said panicking. "JuST GIVE ME A CHANCE! PLEASE!" The voice begged. "I'M DIFFERENT NOW I SWEAR!"

Roxy turned them around cautiously.

"Isn't that English?" Rose asked curiously.

"he also has a learning disorder, calliope mentioned that." John added.

"SHuT uP ABOuT MY LEARNING DISORDER!" The person shouted upset.

"yeah thas im." Roxy agreed.

"yo." Dave said as he approached. "hey cal." He said as he walked past the person, joining the group.

"HELLO DAVE HuMAN!" The person shouted somewhat calmly.

"Is there something we're missing here? Isn't this the cherub that sealed us inside of a juju, leaving Roxy and her team to fight alone?" Rose asked confused.

"no he is, he's just chill now. we're like, buds now."

"WE ARE NOT, BuDS! I AM JuST MuCH CALMER NOW!" The person corrected.

"same thing."

"NO IT'S NOT!"

"is this how i acted with karkat?" John asked Rose quietly.

"No, you were more annoyed by him, it's more as if our sessions were swapped, and we were trying to guide the trolls." She decided.

"cool."

"besides, we're cool now, he's practically a pacifist."

"OR THE CLOSEST THING TO A PACIFIST WHEN YOu ARE FORCED TO RESORT TO BREAKING THE LIMBS OF THOSE YOu'RE ATTACKED BY ON A DAILY BASIS."

"well, he has a no kill policy, only attack if needed."

"CORRECT." The person agreed. "DO YOU KNOW WHERE… SHE, IS? I WANT TO TALK TO HER…" The person asked nervously.

"yeah dude, she's right down the hall, she'll be here any minute, might wanna hide behind me though, shorty." Dave told him, for it was a him.

"ALRIGHT…" He agreed, getting behind him. "AND DON'T CALL ME SHORT!"

Roxy turned around bored, waiting for John and Rose to make sense of everything. "… callie?" She asked confused, seeing a familiar face.

"roxy? what are yoU doing here?" The person she had seen asked in a female tone.

Roxy gave a happy smile, turning to John.

"go ahead, i don't mind." He assured her, allowing her to jump the girl, who was female, happily.

"CALLIE!" She shouted with joy.

The male figure peeked out from behind Dave cautiously while Roxy glomped the female one.

"hey, greenie." Dave called out, getting the females attention. "sorry to interrupt but someone wants to talk to you!" He explained, stepping aside.

"SISTER…" The male one said nervously.

"y-yoU…" The female one whispered scared.

"I… I'M…" He trailed off, looking to dave confused.

"sorry, the word is sorry." He told him quietly.

"I'M SORRY… FOR… WHAT I DID." He said quietly.

"y-yoU… yoU're sorry?" She asked confused.

"YES, I AM… REALLY, I SWEAR…" He told her sincerely.

"you realise callie's got no reason to believe you right?" Roxy pointed out.

"I KNOW, BuT I STILL NEED TO MAKE IT uP TO HER." He explained.

"i... i don't know if i can forgive yoU jUst yet, bUt i believe yoU." 'Callie' told him. "i don't know why…" She muttered. "bUt yoU deserve a chance i sUppose…"

"THANK YOu…" He whispered quietly.

"Ok what exactly happened here? I'm tired of figuring things out over long periods of time." Rose said annoyed.

"basically, jake or whatever his name is adopted calliope over there as an english, so yeah john, hope you like having cherubs as family now." Dave joked.

"don't even joke about that."

"but in all seriousness, cal over here had it bad in his new life, he was in an orphanage and treated like dirt, y'know that whole whinging abuse thing that happened a few years ago? it's that bad." He explained.

"And… You do know that it was John getting abused in whinging yes?" Rose pointed out.

"I FEEL…" 'Cal' trailed off again.

"i'm working on the dictionary for you pal, just need to finish off a few words and then you'll be able to check on your own." Dave promised him. "but you're looking for bad."

"BAD FOR YOu." He finished, giving a grateful look to Dave.

"uh… thanks?" John muttered confused.

"so, he's a good guy now?" Roxy asked curiously.

"I HOPE TO BE ONE DAY, BuT I AM uNSuRE WHEN THAT SHALL BE." He corrected.

"…" Roxy stared at him, before giving a smile. "kay! i trust yu!" She decided.

"… WHY? I COuLD BE TRYING TO TRICK YOu BY LuLLING YOu INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECuRITY!" He shouted confused.

"that's why! 'cause you know you did bad and want to make up for it! that makes you a good person!" She explained.

"This is one of those things that you just have to accept." Rose explained.

"well then… it seems i will have to get Used to this once again…" 'Callie' decided. "caliborn…"

"AS WILL I, CALLIOPE." The now named Caliborn agreed, extending his hand to his former sister, with her grabbing firmly, the two shaking.

"so… has anyone seen jade?" John asked worried.

"WHICH ONE IS JADE AGAIN?"

"the one with the puppy ears!" Roxy said happily.

"AH, I DON'T KNOW. I KNOW WHERE THE JANE HuMAN IS THOuGH!" He said.

"really? where?"

"WELL…"

"I'm right behind you." A female voice said before hitting John in the head with a pie.

John felt his pranksters gambit take a hit, he would have to regain it with some cunning pranks…

"Well, I wasn't expecting the final villain to be so adorable!" Jane commented, pulling on Caliborn's cheek.

"PLEASE STOP. I'M VERY SENSTIVE ABOuT MY HEIGHT PROBLEMS!" He told her as he tried to escape.

"But it's adorable! It should be a crime!" Jane told him smiling.

"i hope jade's ok…" John muttered worried.

"i'm more worried about karkat, nothing against jade but, i kinda need my matesprit." Dave commented. "see? i remember things." He said with a grin.

"i guess… i just wanna see my sister, we haven't talked in ages…" He shrugged.

"SO DOES ANYONE ACTuALLY WANT TO BE ABLE TO TALK uSING THOSE LOGS OR NOT?" Caliborn asked seriously. "BECAuSE I REMADE THE PROGRAM." He explained, sending everyone links to their phones that somehow worked.

"cool! i like you better as a nice person!" John decided.

 **AN: I have basic ideas for each chapter, this one was the cal's making up and Caliborn becoming a good person. Calliope is gonna need some convincing though before she trusts him.**


	3. Day 3, not as tired but needs plot

**AN: Alright I'm here, there was something happening so I couldn't use the keyboard thingamabobberdohickey. Heh, hickey's are what John's gonna get when he's older!**

John and Rose exchanged glances at Roxy as she jabbered away to Calliope. "and you say i'm the chatterbox." He pointed out.

"Well you can't blame me, your breathe class does seem to aid you, Roxy just has a lot of air." Rose explained. "Probably thanks to you." She added.

"i don't get it…" He muttered before groaning. "roooooooose! don't say stuff like that!" He complained.

"I can't help it, I ship it so hard, so hard that if the ship was a physically object it would be incredibly hard and powerful." She said seriously.

"and, uh… i forget what happened next…" Roxy trailed off. "johnny? wha' happened again?" She asked.

"with what?"

"when we got together silly!"

"yeah but when?"

"after rosey got hit in the head with a brick!"

"I was hit with a brick?!" Rose asked, having no memories of it.

"yeah, you got a concussion and got knocked out, that's why you don't remember me and rox getting together." John explained. "anyway…"

 **Flashback**

John, having been adopted and renamed John Egbert 4 years ago on the 13th of April, or what was legally his birthday, was hanging out with his two friends, Roxy and Rose, he didn't know where the rest of his friends were, or if they could still use their powers, despite many attempts to find out.

"you know, i really feel like something's up here." John said with a shrug.

"Well, it's not exactly worth crying over if you forgot something right? Just tell me and I'll write it down." Rose assured him.

"yeah i guess." He agreed.

"heh, it's not like were gonna die and the world'l end, theres no sburb rigth? Right?" Roxy asked, correcting herself.

"We shouldn't, but with our luck… Let's hope not." Rose decided.

In a nearby area, a round boy watched as the freak hung out with two hot girls jealously, a freak shouldn't be allowed to have nice things, he picked up a rock and aimed carefully at the freak, then threw.

John bent down to sort his shoelaces out while Rose waited for him to do so, standing right behind him, before the rock hit Rose right in the head, knocking her out. "there we go!" He said happily, before turning around to see rose. "uh… rose?" He asked worried. "rose, please wake up…" He murmured worried for his friend.

"john, wat'r yu doin'?" Roxy asked confused, turning around to find John leaning over Rose. "ooh… sloppy makeouts? why didn't you tell me?" She asked instantly.

"i-it's not what it looks like!" John shouted.

"it looks lik yur gettin' redy for a sloppy makeout." She told him drunkenly.

"no! rose got hit on the head with something and got knocked out!" He explained.

"oh, that's not good." She noted, still a little drunk somehow.

"… how are you drunk? we're eight." He wondered.

"an i'm rich!"

John nodded, it made sense in a way, he then looked around for whoever threw the rock.

The boy scowled, the freak had dodged it and the rock had hit the hot chick, he still had more rocks though… He prepared another one and threw it.

John saw the rock out of the corner of his eye as it approached, but he wouldn't have any time to get out of the way… In a panic the wind suddenly blew and the rock was sent flying back to the sender, hitting him in the part-that-shall-not-be-named, let's go with that.

"ouch, thas gon' hur in the mornin" Roxy pointed out, hearing the thud and whimpering.

"yeah, i guess… but how did…?" He wondered, focusing on making the wind form a shape, the gusts being bright blue and swirly. "heh, guess i still have my powers!" He said happily.

"awwww ye!" Roxy shouted, high fiving him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a flash of metal in a shape he recognised, quickly he jumped on top of Roxy, pressing her against the ground as something cut through the air where they had been.

"sloppy makeouts?" Roxy asked confused.

"no, gun just got fired." He said with a sigh embarrassed.

"no i meant do you wanna do one?"

"uh… sure?" He asked without really thinking.

"great!" Roxy shouted, pulling him into a kiss.

 **Present**

"-and that's basically what happened, it was very weird…" John finished telling the tale.

"dude that's the dumbest way to find out your powers still work" Dave told him with a grin.

"nah, that'd be rox."

"yeah it was purty drum! … pretty dumg! … pretty dung… ah forget it…" She muttered, unable to correct herself.

"pretty dumb." John said for her.

"and what did she do?" Dave asked.

"pumpkins." They said in sync. "all of the pumpkins, all of them!" They continued to say in sync.

"Roxy created a mountain of pumpkins, perfectly generic objects and other random dodads." Rose explained. "Rose and John then proceeded to have another sloppy makeout on top of the mountain." She added.

"i dont want to hear about that so please shut your face hole" Dave begged.

"At least you haven't made any Freudian slips yet about, and I quote, 'john's hot mom, I mean, john's hot mom'." Rose pointed out, with a smirk.

"y'know what, i'm not even going to react, i'm not a hypocrite."

"heh, hippo." Roxy snickered.

"shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up" Dave chanted.

"Well… I'm flattered, I think…" Jane said, shuffling away from Dave.

"oh come on Its roses fault" Dave tried to defend himself.

"And how brother, is it my fault."

"so, didn't you two have a lot of romantic tension before the whole ectobiology thing?" john asked.

"dude dont remind me about me" Dave complained.

"just saying, maybe it's in your genes to make those hot mom slip ups." John pointed out.

"It… Is possible, but unlikely." Rose decided.

"ENOuGH OF TALKING ABOuT THE JANE HuMAN!" Caliborn decided.

"dude, you're a human now." John pointed out.

"IT'S A MANNER OF THOuGHT." Caliborn explained. "I'VE THOuGHT OF MYSELF AS A CHERuB FOR LONGER THAN I HAVE A HuMAN SO IT'S EASIER."

"i guess that makes sense?"

"Gadzooks! Everyone's here!" A voice said excitedly with dumb old timey words."

"… what does gadzooks mean and why is familiar?"

"uh… it's what jakey said in our timeline." Roxy pointed out.

"Roxy! You're here as well! It's great to see you!" The voice said happily as a boy's face got very close, causing Roxy to fall onto the floor in shock. "Sorry!" The boy said worried.

"i's find jakey…" She muttered, getting back up.

"Are you drunk? That's not very wise!"

"she's just tired, she always seems drunk when she doesn't get a good nights rest or gets a lot of excitement along with a bad night." John explained.

"You… You're Jade's ectobiological father correct?" Rose asked.

"Something like that? I don't really remember."

"Do you know where she is?"

"Ah! Now that i do know!" Jake said happily. "She's… Uh… She's… Well, this is a little embarrassing." He trailed off.

"BOO!" A girl's voice shouted from under the table, making everyone jump and then look under it. "hi guys!" She said happily, crawling out.

"jade!" John shouted happily.

"hi john!" She said happily, hugging him tight, enough to make him red in the face.

"can't… breathe…" He gasped out.

"sorry! i thought you didn't need to breathe!" Jade apologized, dropping quickly.

"how did you get so strong?" He asked as Roxy helped him up.

"well… i took some martial arts classes, practiced my powers and weapons… just kept in shape." She explained with a shrug.

"Well then, could you please refrain from hugging anyone else that hard without any warnings?" Rose requested.

"ok! so… are they dating?" Jade asked, nodding towards John and Roxy, who were eating together and flirting between each other.

"Yes, apparently it happened because I was hit with a rock, which just makes me annoyed."

"alright so ive been wondering this for a while and hoping youd bring it up but why are you wearing your outfits?" Dave asked confused.

"kanaya made them for us! she wasn't feeling well so she's arriving later." John explained.

"John, did you return Dave's turntables to him yet?" Rose asked.

"oh! i actually forgot!" He said with a grin, pulling two turn tables out of thin air. "here you do!"

"dude this is sick i can do my shit once again" Dave said with a smirk, spinning them around in the air like a badass.

"so does anyone want to explain whats happened to karkat for me? cause i aint lookin forwards to that" Dave asked.

"Karkat's here?" Rose asked curiously, watching with a smile as Roxy and John kissed each other once again.

"OF COURSE I'M HERE! IS YOU'RE THINKPAN THAT ROTTEN AFTER A SINGLE REBIRTH? WOW, NO WONDER YOU DIDN'T THINK OF JUST GETTING DAVE'S BUTTSPEAKER!" A voice shouted from behind her, making her jump.

"dude i lost the buttspeaker weeks ago when you borrowed it" Dave pointed out, pulling mr angrypants next to him.

"OH. SORRY ABOUT THAT I SUPPOSE." He told Rose.

"It's quite fine, I have no irritation towards you at this point in time." Rose said with her big words.

"SO, THEIR MATESPRITS NOW? GUESS I CAN TICK OFF ROXYGEN." He asked, pulling out a notebook.

"Wait, that's canon?" Rose asked in shock.

"ALONG WITH BREATHALYZER, BUT ROXYGEN IS BETTER." He explained.

"told you it was canon! i warned you not to argue!" John shouted happily.

"Along with Davekat… I won't challenge your shipping titles again. I have experienced true defeat and humbly bow down to both of you in ships." Rose said seriously.

"woo!"

"I should have told mother not to let him on the internet, but he was so happy…" Rose muttered to herself.

"i ship everything!" John declared happily.

"Alright John, now calm down, you're a bit crazy today."

"well my friends are all here, and we're all alive, and i've got a girlfriend, and davekat is canon!" He told her with a big grin.

"Yes… Yes it is."

"Gadzooks! I forgot about dirk! Where is he?!" Jake asked worried.

"hes off doin his own thing somewhere or whatever like hes his own boss i cant tell him what to do" Dave said shrugging.


End file.
